Vol. 29, No. 2 February, 2005 MARRIAGE, the MEANING, and ME

Vol. 29, No. 2  February, 2005


The greatest issue facing America today is the decay of our homes. I know that some have the idea that the problems we are facing today are the result of removing the Bible from our classrooms. And others say that it is all because we have had prayer removed, or the Ten Commandments removed from our society. And other things could be mentioned. Something else happened before these things came along. These things, along with crime, drugs, violence, immorality, and the general decay we see are just surface symptoms that indicate a far deeper problem. To try and fix these things is like putting a band-aid on a cancer. The problems lie deeper. There can be no greater work today than to work on our homes. Now,

the things that I wish to share with you today, I speak from the Christian point of view. If you are not saved today, saved from the penalty, and power of sin, the only thing that I can say to you is that I do sincerely pray that today you will receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your own personal Saviour. The things I wish to share with each of you today are

the teachings of The Word of God, (KJV). We cannot force the things of the Bible on those who are not Christian. That is not what we are attempting to do. The Christian, however, should want to please God in all that we do. So the message today is for those of us who name the Name of Christ. It is difficult to know just where to start, so let us start at the beginning?

1. MARRIAGE.   The oldest Divine institution is Marriage. In the very beginning, God CREATED Man and Woman, brought them together and instituted Marriage. This is God’s Plan. It cannot be improved, it needs to be maintained. Please read the verses that are listed in this message. We do not have the space to print them all. Read Genesis 1:26-30, Gen. 2:18-25. “And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen 2:22-24) See Matthew 19:1-6, 1Cor. 11:3. Now, there is NOT the first hint, nor can one form any kind of asensible opinion from these and countless other references concerning Marriage, that people of the same sex are to be married. This sin is strongly denounced in the Bible.  This is just NOT in the plan of God. The Bible, and nature itself teaches different. So, Marriage is the joining together of a MALE and a FEMALE   in Marriage as instituted by God in the Garden of Eden.

2. the MEANING.  Let me share with you some of the things that Marriage is Meant to be.

(A) Marriage is MEANT to be life’s closest relationship. Man and Woman complement each other. “And the Lord God said , it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18). Man and Woman were made for each other. Our bodies, our temperaments, our minds complement one another.  The closest thing on earth that illustrates  the relationship between Christ and His Church is the happy union between Husband and Wife. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.” Eph 5:31-32). One Man, and one Woman united in Marriage for life is what Marriage is meant to be.

(B) Marriage is MEANT for the propagation of the human race.

Children are to be recognized as a gift from God. See Psalm 127, 128. We have generations of fatherless and motherless children. Children who are victims, who were brought into this world by parents who had no concept of God and His plan for Marriage and reproduction. I believe that the worst thing that can happen to a child, apart from abuse, is to be separated from parents. A great number of children are born out of a lustful relationship that lasted for a few weeks, or for a few months. This is not God’s plan for propagation of the human race.

(C) Marriage is MEANT for the proper use of sex, that it may serve human life and not pollute it. (Genesis 2:24-25) “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge.”  (Heb 13:4).

See 1Cor 7:2-5, v9.

Marriage demands fidelity in the husband-wife relationship. “Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? For two saith He shall be one flesh. But he that is joined to the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s.” (1Cor 6:15-20). Flee fornication. Think of Joseph in Egypt as he flees from Potiphar’s   wife as she tried to seduce him. (Gen 39).

(D) Marriage is MEANT to be monogamous. It is meant to be a lifetime partnership. The bond is not to be broken. Mt 19:4-9, “Have ye not read that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” V9 says that Fornication is the only reason that the marriage bond may be broken. See 1Cor 7:10 ,11. Divorce is easy to obtain, but hard to live with. Someone has rightly said that in time, you can get over the death of a loved one, but divorce is for life. I am well aware that some of you who read this just now are victims of a broken marriage, and have re-married. Remember ,  God is a loving and forgiving God. Give Him your heart and marriage, and make the best marriage you can with God’s help. You can make it work. For those of you who may be living together apart from the marriage bond. Get out of if, today. Get married. Make it right at the beginning, and it will end up right. Many, many have tried living together without marriage only to find out that it does not work.  

3. ME.Marriage, the Meaning, and “Me.”

Lets us look at ME  as the husband, and MEas the wife, and MEas the child, and see what the Bible says to each of us.

(A) ME. The husband, or, the male part. Let “ME” assume my role as husband as taught in the Bible. Again, I know that this is not politically correct, but I am not trying to be politically correct. I am to be the Example of Love, Spirituality, and training.

(a) The Example of Love. “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.” (Eph 5:25) “So ought men love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ the church.” (Eph 5:28-29). Spousal abuse is a horrible crime. Recently, a man in California was convicted of murdering his wife and unborn child. I cannot begin to imagine such. What a horrible crime. The example of love is Christ’s Love for the Church, and He gave Himself for it. In like manner, I am to love my wife, my children. Let every husband consider these great truths in relationship to our wife:

Understanding.   A woman is different. She goes through cycles, mood changes. We must be understanding. “Likewise ye husbands   dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as the weaker vessel.” (1Pet 3:7-8)

Tenderness. Col 3:12-14.

Honesty. Eph 4:23-25.

Kindness, Eph 4:30-32.

I am not to spend time in trying to change Her, I should try to change ME.

Never be abusive to your wife, or treat her like some door mat. Love her. She will respond to love.

(b) The example of Spirituality. “But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1Cor 11:3) See also vs 7-9.   There is a Divine order about creation, about nature, about the animal kingdom, and there is Divine order about the home. Please see   Gen. 3:16,

Gen 18:19, Eph 5:23, 1Peter 3:1, God looks to the husband and father to be the Spiritual leader in the home. The husband is to be the leader in Bible Study, in family prayer, and in public worship. It is the man’s responsibility to lead his family in spiritual matters. It is the man’s responsibility to see that his family is in Worship services at the proper time. The growing problem is that few men assume their responsibility and leave this to the wife. This is not right. God is not well pleased, and many prayers are hindered because of such. See 1Peter 3:7.

(c) The example in training. “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”(Eph 6:4)

Nurture, meaning “care, training, upbringing.”   It pictures the care of plants. Proper care of plants makes the difference   between a poor plant and a good plant.

Admonition, meaning “To warn, to reprove.”  We are to train our children to fear God, to reverence God and to obey His Word.   (Pr. 13:24, Pr. 19:18, Pr. 22:15, Pr 23:13, Pr. 29:15, Pr. 29:17. Children are to be counted as people, and not as  “things. ” The father who honors the Lord will have very little trouble in gaining the love of his wife and respect of his children.

(B) “ME,” the wife, or the female part.

The wife is to be in subjection to the husband. You can read that in Eph 5:22-24, 1Peter 3:1-6, Gen. 3:16. I can almost hear the words; ?” Me, be in subjection to him? You must be kidding.”  I am only telling you what the Bible, (KJV) says. You just do your part, and be a sweet submissive wife, and see just what God will do in your life. Don’t try to assume his role. And remember, you are not just submitting to your husband, you are submitting to God’s Word. He will honor that. And by the way, there is a mutual submission. The husband is to do “Likewise” (1Peter 3:7) Remember, the purpose for woman’s creation was to be a wife, (Gen 2:18-24) Equality with man is a terrible burden for a woman to bear. Women are different. Women are wonderfully good at being women and superior at being female, but not so good in assuming a man’s role. Some women have this burden placed upon them, and they have a heavy burden in life, this should not be so. Spend time in reading what the Bible says about a wife. There are many good books by Christian authors for you to read, and read a good book on marriage written by a Medical Doctor. God bless every wife and mother who is doing her best to live according to God’s plan.

(C) “ME,”the child in this marriage.

What does the Bible say?   “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Eph 6:1-3). There are at least three things listed in these verses for every child.

(a) This is right. This is the responsibility of every child. If a child does not learn to honor and obey his parents at home, he will not obey the teacher in school, he will not obey the stop sign, or the speed limit, and so on in life. Respect for authority begins in a child’s obedience to parents.

(b)This is a Commandment of God. It is not a suggestion. See Ex. 20:12.

(c) It brings blessings. “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother. For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.”(Pr. 1:8-9).  

I must bring this message to a close for now. There is so much more. I am still learning. In fact, I have been married to the same girl for over 50 years. The things that I have tried to share with you will NOT work if you are not a Christian. You must first ask Christ into your heart. You must believe with your heart what the Bible says about you, that you are a sinner, lost without God. You must believe what the Bible says about Christ; That He paid our debt of sin by His death on the Cross, and by His Glorious Resurrection to be our Living Saviour. You believe these things the Bible says, and you receive Christ by telling Him that you receive Him. The Bible says, “Ask, and ye shall receive.” Do that just now. God will hear the cry of a repentant heart. And then, build a happy Christian Home and Marriage. The things that I have shared with you are NOT emergency room ” fix-it’s” but a lifestyle. I have seen many marriages begin to fail, and that couple adopts the idea that they must begin to attend church somewhere. So they attend a church for a week or two, and things never get better. This again is a lifestyle.

This is a life of me learning about her, and her about me. This is me learning that she is different. That her feelings are tender, that her moods are changing. This is a life of me learning , praying, and seeking the will of God in every problem of life.

Yes, the problems of America are great and varied, but the basic problem is the decay of the American Home. Work on your home. Sacrifice, and give it your best shot. Gibbon, in his Book, “The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire” listed five things that brought the empire down. The top of that list was; “The rapid increase in divorce, the undermining of the sanctity of the home which is basic to society.”

God bless your Christian Home. God bless my Christian Home. THINK ABOUT IT?The sweetest place on earth is a Happy Christian Home.